Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize