Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
