Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have post one night stand depression
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
