i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
