So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
