I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
