he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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