Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
