I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
