What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
