Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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