And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
