How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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