i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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