i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
