Screwed.edu
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My feet surprised me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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