I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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