What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
