ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
