there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
