Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
