What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
