I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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