You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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