I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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