Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i barfeds in our rink
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
