Kareoke will never be a sober sport
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
