with your own penis?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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