alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
