Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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