i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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