Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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