I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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