You really coming over, don't trick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
