i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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