we have officially lost it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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