Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
