I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
