are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
that's an acceptable place to lick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never underestimate the power of titties
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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