6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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