doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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