My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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