trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
