I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
