I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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