I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
