Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
