Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
