wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize