My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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