Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
