Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
