I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
