Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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