your thong is hanging out like whoa
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
