i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
