Don't you send me to vm
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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