I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
