So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
