Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
