i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize