We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
