i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
