remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If its not for food we ain't going out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
