Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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