he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
