do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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