the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
