Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
