So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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